When you get married, the expectation is that it will last for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, circumstances and people change, and both you and the person you married might not be looking for the same things anymore. Nobody wants a marriage to end, but it’s a common occurrence. If you’ve been to couples therapy, discussed your future, and still can’t find a way to make your marriage work, then divorce is an option that needs to be considered. It can be emotionally exhausting to separate from someone, especially if your lives have become so intertwined. If you’re contemplating divorce, here are some practical tips that could help you get through the process and ready to start your new life.
The first thing to remember is that you don’t need to go through the pain of divorce all by yourself. You’re going to need support, so make sure that someone you trust is aware of your plans. This not only provides you with essential emotional support but can also keep you physically safer if you’re worried about a violent response from your partner. Then, it’s time to start thinking about:
- The home: Think about whether you will stay in the family home or if you will leave it to your spouse (if you’re leaving, then you need to find somewhere else to live).
- Finances: If you have a joint bank account, then half of what’s in it is usually yours. It’s easy to let emotions take over when you’re going through a divorce, but you need to give some sensible thought to your money situation.
- Legalities: It’s best to get a solicitor as quickly as possible. Don’t rely on Google to help you find the right legal advice, and do your research on legal teams that suit your needs. Ideally, you want a specialist in divorce law and someone that speaks your preferred language. Choose Welsh-speaking divorce solicitors if needed, and follow their advice.
You’re going to need to be practical about your next steps, and this is going to mean thinking about life post-divorce. You’ve already thought about where you’re going to live, and now you have to start thinking about what you own. Start a list of possessions that are owned by one of you, and then have a new list that details all of the things that you need and what you can do without.
Next, it’s the fiddly tasks, such as:
- Bills: Whose name is on the gas bill? Is it linked? Is your internet package in your name or your partner’s? If you want to make sure that finances are sorted before the divorce happens, it’s these areas that can trip you up, so pay attention to them.
- Paperwork: Just like a marriage, there’s plenty of paperwork involved in a divorce, and you’re going to need to hunt it all down and keep it safe. Your marriage certificate, your banking information for your shared account, and even the paperwork from your family car are all going to be necessary. Talk to your solicitor about what’s needed.
Once these have all been tackled, you’ll be in a much more secure position. Remember to open your own bank account and start thinking about what you want from your future. While nobody gets married dreaming of divorce, it can be very liberating if your home life has become fraught or miserable. Divorces aren’t fun to go through, but they could be the first step to a brand new life that leaves you happier, healthier, and more positive about the future.