Separation and divorce are never easy for either party of a previous couple. You might have many concerns and questions in the beginning, and be unsure of how to proceed. Many questions might be keeping you awake at night. ‘Who will the children live with?’, ‘who pays the mortgage in a divorce?’, ‘who should leave the family home?’ – if this sounds like you, click the link for more info.
One thing that may need to be settled sooner, rather than later; is how you will co-parent your children now that you aren’t a couple anymore. Regardless of your feelings about your former partner, it is vital that the children are not caught in the middle of any disputes, and can still spend time with both parents as long as it is safe for them to do so.
Co-parenting is the act of sharing the childcare with others. This may be, currently, with your ex-partner, but also with any step-parents in the future. In your current situation, responsibility will be shared between the two of you. This means that any decisions, care, education, and financial aspects of childcare must still be accounted for.
While it can be a struggle to decide who lives where, ultimately, decisions should be made that benefit the children. They are innocent and your separation should have as little impact on them as possible.
Due to this, it can be a good idea for the parent who the children will be living with for the majority of the time to remain in the family home where possible. This can allow children a semblance of normality during an otherwise disrupted time. Remember that, while this is difficult for you, this will also be incredibly stressful for your children who may feel confused or upset by the situation.
Remaining civil can help a great deal in co-parenting. Leaving any disputes for mediation, or when the children aren’t around, can assist them in many ways. For one, it will make the upheaval as minimal as possible. Secondly, you will also be teaching them a good life lesson that, just because a relationship doesn’t work, people can still remain amicable. This can aid them in forming and ending relationships in a healthy manner when they reach adulthood.
Reassuring children is another key aspect of co-parenting. Children need to understand that any separation was not due to them. This can be particularly important if a child has expressed feeling to blame over your split. Any details regarding the reason should also not be discussed in front of them, as there is no need for a child to be privy to any arguing or blame that may otherwise be discussed.
Separating is never an easy process, but you can still work together with your ex-partner to ensure the best for your children. While you may not share romantic feelings any longer, you will always share the love for your offspring, and the desire to give them the best in life.