My husband is a massive fan of dad jokes. Those terrible, groan-inducing punny jokes that just seem to keep coming. Can’t say I’m the world’s biggest fan, especially when I tend to hear them over and over again, but they do have a special place at Christmas. Here are some jokes to throw at your friends and family over the festive period. I hope a couple make you laugh even if most of them make you groan!
You could also write them down and use them in some home-made Christmas crackers – Christmas cracker jokes always manage to be amazingly bad! You might be groaning but I’m guaranteed the little ones will have a giggle.
Q: Why were the eggs Benedict served on a shiny platter on Christmas morning?
A: Because there is no plate like home for the hollandaise.
Q: Who’s never hungry at Christmas?
A: The Turkey. He’s always stuffed!
Q: Is it going to snow on Christmas Day?
A: I don’t know, it’s still up in the air!
Q: What do Snowmen have for breakfast?
Q: Why was the Turkey in the pop group?
A: He brings his own Drumsticks!
Q: Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
A: He was picking his nose!
Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve.
Q: Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?
A: They are rain deer!
Q: How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
A: No Brussels!
Q: Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?
A: They always drop their needles!
Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
A: He had no body to go with.
Q: What do you call a blind reindeer?
A: No eye deer.
Q: Who delivers presents to sharks?
A: Santa Jaws!
Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A: A mince spy!
Q: What is a lion’s favourite Christmas carol?
A: Jungle Bells.
Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can “ho ho ho”!
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Q: Who delivers presents to cats and dogs?
A: Santa Paws!
Q: What says Oh Oh Oh?
A: Santa walking backwards!
Q: What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A: Nothing, it was on the house!
Q: How do snowmen get around?
A: They ride an icicle!
Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In a snow bank!