Christmas Family

25 Punny Christmas Jokes


My husband is a massive fan of dad jokes. Those terrible, groan-inducing punny jokes that just seem to keep coming. Can’t say I’m the world’s biggest fan, especially when I tend to hear them over and over again, but they do have a special place at Christmas. Here are some jokes to throw at your friends and family over the festive period. I hope a couple make you laugh even if most of them make you groan!

You could also write them down and use them in some home-made Christmas crackers – Christmas cracker jokes always manage to be amazingly bad! You might be groaning but I’m guaranteed the little ones will have a giggle.

Christmas Jokes

Q: Why were the eggs Benedict served on a shiny platter on Christmas morning?
A: Because there is no plate like home for the hollandaise.

Q: Who’s never hungry at Christmas?
A: The Turkey. He’s always stuffed!

Q: Is it going to snow on Christmas Day?
A: I don’t know, it’s still up in the air!

Q: What do Snowmen have for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: Why was the Turkey in the pop group?
A: He brings his own Drumsticks!

Q: Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
A: He was picking his nose!

Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve.

Q: Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?
A: They are rain deer!

Q: How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
A: No Brussels!

Q: Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?
A: They always drop their needles!

Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
A: He had no body to go with.

Q: What do you call a blind reindeer?
A: No eye deer.

Q: Who delivers presents to sharks?
A: Santa Jaws!

Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A: A mince spy!

Q: What is a lion’s favourite Christmas carol?
A: Jungle Bells.

Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can “ho ho ho”!

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claus-trophobic

Q: Who delivers presents to cats and dogs?
A: Santa Paws!

Q: What says Oh Oh Oh?
A: Santa walking backwards!

Q: What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
A: Hornaments!

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite!

Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A: Nothing, it was on the house!

Q: How do snowmen get around?
A: They ride an icicle!

Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In a snow bank!

Got any Christmas jokes for me? Leave them in the comments!

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  • Reply Kim Carberry December 4, 2017 at 10:16 am

    hehehe! I love these!

  • Reply Carol December 4, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    I’m laughing – they’re so bad they are great! #MMBC

  • Reply mummy here and here December 4, 2017 at 4:50 pm

    reading this made me chuckle, I need it after a stressful day X #mmbc

  • Reply Louisa December 4, 2017 at 10:20 pm

    I love puns. I will share these with my kids, it’ll be nice to tell them ones they haven’t heard before! #mmbc

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