10 Things that change Before and After Kids

I was having a chat with some mums the other day about how life has changed since kids. After a bit of serious discussion we veered towards the funny side of things. Here are some of the things that came up – can you relate?

Before and After Kids

Before kids: “Today I am going to do all the things!”
After kids: “Today’s goal is to go to the bathroom in peace.”

Before kids: “Anything I forget I’ll just grab somewhere out.”
After kids: “If I forget something there will be a full blown meltdown and we’ll end up going back. Pack everything.”

Before kids: “Ugh, I have to be up at 7am.”
After kids: “I got to sleep in until 7am!”

Before kids: “Today’s ensemble will be this beautiful three piece suit in dusky pink from … “
After kids: “Well this jumper has only been vomited on once, let’s just go.”

Before kids: “Oooh, lingerie.”
After kids:  “Comfortable granny pants please.”

Before kids: “Guests are coming over, we must make the place spotless!”
After kids: “There’s no point. It’ll be dirty within 5 minutes anyway.”

Before kids: “A spontaneous break away? I’ll just chuck a few things in a bag and let’s go!”
After kids: “We need four suitcases and 6 weeks to plan our packing down to a military exercise.”

Before kids: “Great, clocks go back next weekend. An extra hour in bed!”
After kids: “Damn it, the clocks go back. Now they’ll be up at 5am instead of 6am..”

Before kids: “Work’s done, I can relax on the sofa and play video games on the PS4!”
After kids: “If I lock myself in the bathroom for 15 minutes I might be able to play FarmVille on my phone!”

Before kids: “Tonight we’ll have a romantic dinner by ourselves and then a sensual tumble under the sheets…”
After kids: “We’ve got about 15 minutes before he wakes up, quickie? Or… we could just have a nap…”

All of the above are true for me, but I wouldn’t change a thing!

Have any of your own to add? Let me know in the comments!

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